This is a hard one, especially since appearances mean so much to many of us. Each kid has their own personal style, and letting them dress themselves is a great way to promote positive self-expression.
As much as possible, let your child decide what happens to their body—what they wear, eat, who they interact with and how they interact with them. No one wants to let a child scream for 45 minutes about eating green beans , but at the same time, if something is upsetting your child—no matter how senseless it seems to you—you always want your child to know that you take their feelings seriously. Because the next time they are crying about something, it might be something much more serious than green beans, and you want your child to feel that you are a safe person for them to share their feelings with.
Even when your child messes up— especially then—help them see the lesson that can be learned. Shame and guilt are not helpful when your child messes up.
True growth comes from learning from your mistakes and finding the positive in even the most difficult circumstances. If you are always criticizing yourself, pointing out your own flaws, and not being willing to embrace your own differences, your child will take that to heart. If you are the parent of an extra special, standout kid, celebrate this difference. Accept them for who they are and let them shine. Our kids have more strength, creativity, and know-how than we often give them credit for.
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Society has changed. Our individuality will never be found in outward appearances. What makes us unique is the fact that we were each individually created by God, in His image. God is infinitely unique and as such, He is the ultimate trend setter. Trends will continue to change and there will always be people with opinions. So, encourage your children to be truly unique, not because of what they wear but because of who they are and what they do.
Teach them to treat others with love and respect no matter what their appearance. Talk to your kids about their choices they are making and the reasons behind them.
Show them true character through your actions. Parenting is all about setting boundaries and teaching your children to respect them. Social interaction is a basic part of life for both children and adults.
So learning appropriate social skills is essential. Children with good social skills tend to do better in school, have a better self-image and are better at resolving conflicts. Some kids are born with the charm and outgoing personality needed to get along with others, but for some, socializing may be more difficult.
Just playing with other kids is helpful, but when social skills are a challenge, parents can use activities to build up these skills in children, such as learning to read facial expression or playing charades to pick up on body language. Life can be hard, even for kids. Everyone needs some level of resilience to get through the tough times.
When children learn to be resilient, they are better able to deal with the traumas and difficulties they will surely face. Many parents understandably try to shield their kids from painful situations, but teaching them resilience will serve them better in the long run. If your child is having a problem in school or with friends, try problem-solving together so he learns how to manage the problem, instead of just running away from it.
And parents can help kids put their problems in perspective, so they learn most problems are not as big or as insurmountable as they may first seem. Often, it is not until children do something dishonest that parents have a discussion with them about what it means to have integrity. But ideally kids should learn this characteristic before they are faced with challenging ethical questions. Talking through these questions will help prepare a child for real life situations.
Resourcefulness—finding solutions to problems—is a trait that businesses look for in employees and it should be developed in childhood. When kids have all their needs met, as middle class American children usually do, they are not often called upon to be resourceful. Having the Internet and limitless apps at their fingertips is convenient, but not helpful in building resourcefulness in kids.
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