Winch suggests changing "I'm going to be successful" to something more manageable like "I will persevere until I succeed! Winch says self-esteem grows when we demonstrate real ability and achievements in the areas of our lives that matter to us. Maybe you're good at running -- sign up to some local races and train for them. Keen on cooking? Throw more dinner parties. The key, he says, is to figure out your core skills and talents and find opportunities -- and even careers -- that emphasize them.
When we feel bad about ourselves, it's hard for anyone else to drag us out of that rut. Winch says we tend to be more resistant to compliments at these times, even though this is when we need them the most. He says instead of shrugging off compliments as lies, you should set yourself the goal of tolerating compliments when you receive them.
Even if you feel uncomfortable -- and you probably will -- it'll be worth it in the long run. The best way to stop yourself batting compliments away, he says, is to prepare set responses to certain things, and force yourself to use them until it's automatic. These responses could be simply things like "thank you" or "how kind of you to say.
Try: Writing down one thing that you're not happy with, and three ways you could change it. Try to schedule in a little you-time every day. You got up on time this morning. You poached your eggs to perfection. Celebrating the small victories is a great way to build confidence and start feeling better about yourself.
Find people who make you feel good about yourself and avoid those who tend to trigger your negative thinking. Try: Writing down three things that you like about yourself. Build relationships with people who make you feel good about yourself and avoid the relationships that drag you down.
Self-esteem varies from situation to situation, from day to day and hour to hour. Some people feel relaxed and positive with friends and colleagues, but uneasy and shy with strangers. Others may feel totally in command of themselves at work but struggle socially or vice versa. Give yourself a break.
We all have times when we feel a bit down or find it harder to maintain our self-belief. The key is not to be too hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself, and not too critical. Avoid criticising yourself to others, because this can reinforce your negative views—and also give other people a possibly false negative opinion of you.
You can help to boost your self-esteem by giving yourself a treat whenever you succeed in doing something hard, or just for managing a particularly bad day. People with low self-esteem often find it hard to stand up for themselves or say no to others.
This means that they may become over-burdened at home or at work, because they do not like to refuse anyone anything. However, this can increase stress , and make it even harder to manage.
Developing your assertiveness can therefore help to improve your self-esteem. Sometimes acting as if you believed in yourself can actually help to increase self-belief! Try taking more exercise, eating well, and getting enough sleep.
These steps might seem awkward at first, but they'll get easier with practice. As you begin to recognize the thoughts and beliefs that are contributing to your low self-esteem, you can counter them or change the way you think about them. This will help you accept your value as a person. As your self-esteem increases, your confidence and sense of well-being are likely to soar. In addition to these suggestions, try to remember on a daily basis that you're worth special care.
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