If your wife never apologizes , it makes you feel disrespected, undervalued, and unimportant. Her failure to apologize can create a massive wedge between the two of you, as it leaves you feeling unheard and invalidates your feelings. In certain instances, it is possible your wife may not even be aware that she did something wrong. Therefore, it is important that you effectively communicate to her when you feel she has done something that is worthy of an apology.
Create the space for her to comfortably express her perspective and be open to her giving an apology. Be open to hearing her perspective, which may include her feeling like you did something that you should apologize for. These women always have a seductive air to them and can make the rest of us feel unattractive and boring. They portray themselves as always being focused on men and their intimate needs.
And that always leads to arguments and contention! We pull away from his arm that slips around our waist or we turn our cheek when he leans over to plant a kiss on our cheek. You may be taking too long to say what you want to say. Sometimes, when we're nervous or expecting a negative response or conflict , we may become more long-winded than necessary. This can be frustrating or boring for your conversation partner—and your meaning can get lost in all those words.
Aim to get to the point. Still, a loving partner should also be patient enough to hear what's on your mind. Your spouse will probably zone out if they are rarely getting a chance to talk. In your attempt to get them to listen, you may inadvertently monopolize conversations. Good conversations allow both people to contribute. Examine how you listen when your spouse is discussing an important topic with you. Model the listening you want to see from your partner—they may follow suit.
Giving your spouse a chance to talk and really listening to them may encourage them to do the same for you. If you have a history of saying things that are hurtful, insulting, intimidating, dismissive, or disrespectful of your spouse's opinions, beliefs, and feelings, your spouse may not want to listen to what you have to say.
Likewise, if your conversations tend to quickly escalate into tense arguments, they may feel protective, defensive, angry, or out of control in these conversations. They also may be disengaging from your talks in an attempt to avoid saying negative or hurtful things to you. Ideally, both of you can work toward having civil conversations where you both speak your minds without being cruel.
Consider coming up with ground rules that you both can live with, such as taking turns speaking, not interrupting, setting a timer for each speaker, and never using hurtful words. Your partner may think that there's a pattern of manipulation in what you say to them—and preemptively decide to tune you out.
Avoid being manipulative or passive-aggressive, and be aware that your spouse may feel like you're trying to take advantage of them. Even if you aren't doing this intentionally, it's still important to make sure being straightforward.
Honesty can be scary, but it's vital for engaged conversation and marriage. Say what you mean. Ask for what you want. Own your feelings, and give space for your partner's thoughts, desires, and emotions as well. A talking style that comes across as preaching, lecturing, or questioning may make your spouse not listen.
You may feel unheard and ignored, which understandably may make you feel your partner is being childish, putting you into the "teacher" or "boss" role. But being the professor or attorney in your marriage will not help you get heard. Rather, being preachy is likely to garner resentment. Instead, clearly explain your concerns or questions without asserting that you know best.
Then, let your partner speak. Don't assume you already know all the answers or that your opinions are the only right ones. Listening with an open heart—and on an even footing—will make your partner much more receptive to listening to what you have to say. It's all too easy to slip into generalizations, but often they aren't really fair or true. List of Partners vendors. Does your spouse complain about not feeling well but won't see a doctor?
Does your partner make plans for a romantic evening or getaway with you and then ruin it by being too tired or not feeling well? Does your partner make promises that aren't kept? Does your spouse acknowledge that there are problems in your relationship but refuses to change behaviors or see a marriage counselor with you?
If your answer is "yes" to all or most of these questions, it sounds like you have a spouse or partner who either refuses or is not motivated to change. The frustration of your spouse's lack of follow-through on good intentions, or saying one thing and then doing another, or breaking promises can slowly erode both the emotional and physical intimacy in your marriage.
This frustration can be heightened if your spouse refuses to seek marriage counseling with you. What can you do when faced with a spouse who has a serious problem or troubling behavior? If your spouse won't change, isn't willing to work on improving your marriage, or won't seek help, you may be on the path to divorce. Although it isn't easy to cope with this type of situation, here's some guidance on how you can deal with a difficult marriage when only one of you wants to change.
There are no easy answers when your spouse can see no reason for a change. Some situations can be dealt with and other situations are deal-breakers. Only you know what you can tolerate and still be emotionally healthy yourself.
It's important to accept that you can't change your spouse. You can only change yourself and your own reactions. Changing your own behavior may trigger your spouse to want to make changes. Try responding differently to difficult situations.
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